Puberty and pregnancy provided their challenges. But NOTHING prepared me for menopause.

During this major hormonal transition, at times it felt like my body was failing me. It felt like I had no control and I was even quite angry with my body!

However, on reflection, I recognise that in the most simplistic way, my body was attempting to find a new homeostasis. It was sending messages and asking me to listen. And initially, I did anything but listen.

You see, I was someone who thought they wouldn’t experience ‘menopause’ and figured my periods would just stop one day and I’d get on with life. I was healthy. I exercised regularly and ate nutritious food. At 47, I smugly felt like I was looking and feeling great. I had just achieved my 30 year goal of completing a marathon and thought I was kind of invincible.

I was also someone who liked to push the boundaries. I neglected aspects of my health such as sleep – it was kind of a badge of honour to push though. I filled my days with things ‘I had to do’ and didn’t allow myself much down time. Stress – isn’t everyone stressed!

I thought I was surviving and thriving – until I wasn’t.

The changes started. Subtle at first and eventually not so subtle. I mostly ‘found’ logical reasons for them, not wanting to accept that menopause was happening – to me. From constantly having to remove my jacket as heat spread throughout my body to waking up at night literally dripping in sweat. Then there were the mood swings which coincided with my kids experiencing puberty – it was a time of hormonal havoc in my home!

And, the most embarrassing was my newly acquired ‘supermarket rage’, where I accosted the poor fruit and veg department kids with steam coming out of my head every time I found a mouldy strawberry packet (I found lots of them!).

Deep down, maybe I also feared that menopause meant I was getting old and that my best days were behind me. So, I pushed harder, ignoring the messages my body was sending.

Honestly, I was much too busy to ‘pause’ during menopause.

In fact, I refused to pause. I wanted to fight menopause. Perhaps, a sort of rebellious refusal to getting old! I even signed up for an Ironman Triathlon (3.8km swim, 180km cycle, 42.2km run). Menopause was not going to win!

As it turns out, our bodies are extremely clever and eventually, my body forced me to listen. I could no longer fight – I had nothing left. My body was no longer as forgiving as it was as a younger woman. I could no longer cope with lack of sleep and an intense schedule. I felt constant fatigue and my ironman training was going backwards. It was time for the ‘change’ whether I liked it or not!

Eventually, I stopped fighting and paused a little

I explored areas of health that I’d always neglected – particularly sleep and stress management. I sought help. I rethought my gruelling ironman training schedule. I also started learning about menopause and more importantly, about myself.

Menopause – was the change I didn’t know I needed.

Pre-menopause, I saw things mostly in black and white. But menopause blurred those lines and ‘greyed’ me. I realised there wasn’t just one ‘solution’ to menopause, or to life for that matter. I had to explore what worked for me. It made me more open-minded, curious and reflective. Most importantly, it taught me the value of truly listening to my body.

Menopause doesn’t just change us physically; I also believe it’s an opportunity for immense growth, – if, we are prepared to simply pause a little and listen.

Menopause encouraged me to prioritise my health and well-being in ways I never did before. It also allowed me to discover who I was in this new stage of life. Perhaps it also helped me find the ‘real’ me.

Now, as a 56 year old post-menopausal woman, I can confidently say that I’m the happiest, healthiest, and most aligned version of myself yet. I will always be a work in progress but I feel like I’m now truly thriving.

What about the Ironman? Well, 3 years after I started training with several cancelled races due to covid lockdowns and menopause issues, I finally found a way forward and achieved my goal at 52 as a post menopausal woman, crossing the finish line in 13hrs 42mins 51secs. I was a winner! Not of the race or even my age group but simply because I got to the start line. My ironman training will always be a reminder of my menopause transition.

Menopause taught me that the journey, while sometimes challenging can also be life changing – a gift I’m so grateful for.

Often, menopause is seen as the beginning of the end. However, I now like to view menopause as the beginning of the very best part of life.