"Inheritance Impatience": The Quiet Trend We Need to Talk About

"Talking about money out loud is not distrust, it's love with the lights on. Silence is the only thing financial abuse needs to grow."

The first time I heard the term' inheritance impatience' was at the 2022 Redefining Ageing Conference. Beverly Baker — then Chairperson of the Older Women's Network — was speaking about this growing trend, and I remember the whole room going quiet. We were shocked. And yet, in a strange way, it felt familiar. Many of us already knew the story, even if we'd never had a name for it.

So let's give it one, and talk about it openly, because that's how we protect each other.

What is it?

Inheritance impatience is when an adult child (or other relative) feels entitled to a parent's money or assets now, rather than waiting. As the cost of living climbs in Australia, and with a $5.4 trillion wealth transfer on the horizon, that impatience is quietly fuelling a rise in elder financial abuse.

What the numbers tell us

You are not alone, and this is more common than most people realise. Australia's National Elder Abuse Prevalence Study surveyed 7,000 older Australians and found that 1 in 6 (15%) had experienced some form of abuse in the past year. The most common type of financial abuse? Being pressured to give or loan money, possessions or property (42%).

Here's the part that surprised the room in 2022: the people responsible are most often family. Adult children make up around a third of financial abuse perpetrators, and sons are twice as likely as daughters to be the main culprit. Money troubles were a factor for 55% of them.

Gentle signs worth noticing

This isn't about suspecting your loved ones. It's simply about staying aware:

• Feeling pressured to "help out" or sign something quickly

• A relative taking a sudden, strong interest in your accounts or will

• Being asked to keep money matters secret

• Loans that somehow never get repaid

You're in good company — and good hands

Why does it happen?

It's rarely about bad people — more often, it's a pressure-meeting opportunity. Rising rents, mortgages and cost-of-living strain leave many adult children stretched, and some begin to see a parent's savings or home as a problem they're entitled to solve early. Add a culture that doesn't talk openly about money, families that don't want to cause conflict, and older women who were raised to keep the peace, and you have the perfect conditions for it to grow quietly. The closeness that should protect us — love, trust, family loyalty — is exactly what makes this kind of abuse so hard to see and even harder to name.

How else can we support each other

The good news is that connection is our strongest defence. Check in with the women in your circle, not with suspicion but with genuine curiosity about how they're going — money worries are far easier to share over a cup of tea than alone at midnight. Encourage one another to keep your own bank accounts, your own legal advice, and an enduring power of attorney chosen freely and early, while you're well. If a friend confides that something feels off, believe her, sit with her, and help her find support rather than rushing to fix it. We don't have to be experts to look out for each other — we just have to keep talking, keep listening, and remind one another that asking for help is a sign of strength, never shame.

Talking about money openly is your best protection; secrecy is what allows this to grow. Keep a trusted contact at your bank, never feel rushed into a financial decision, and lean on your Silver Sirens community. If something doesn't feel right, you can call the national elder abuse line, 1800 ELDERHelp (1800 353 374) — free, confidential, and there to help.

We named it together in 2022. Let's keep naming it, kindly and out loud.

Sources: Australian Institute of Family Studies — National Elder Abuse Prevalence Study (2021); Maurice Blackburn & Australian Banking Association on "inheritance impatience" (2024–25).

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