"The thing that I'm really battling with is that I think that we should all have the right or at least the ability to be beautiful for who we are and not for being surgically altered. If you want to be that's totally cool, and there's nothing wrong with it. But we are doing away with reality to an extent and that really bothers me, because now, you're not supposed to be old "
Paulina Porizkova
I was asked in a recent interview why I chose the topic, Ageing in the Public Eye for this year's event. Even though I grew up with very positive messages around ageing, as an ex-model I knew the fear of ageing that is prevalent in the fashion and beauty industries.
I also see women in my private practice in their 20s and 30s already experiencing anxiety about ageing which is reinforced through traditional and social media.
I can understand their fears as we rarely see women in midlife portrayed as happy and loving their life.
The belief is that people do not want to see women over 50 especially those who choose to age naturally. This is illustrated by the reaction to the new Sex and the City movie,
And Just Like That. I was shocked by some of the responses to the way Sarah Jessica Parker and the 'girls' had aged.
“She looks dreadful” one woman commented. “Absolutely awful,” said another. “How are they so ANCIENT?” Sadly, most of the negativity came from women.
Former Sports Illustrated star Paulina Porizkova took to TikTok recently to lament this same issue.
“All of the actresses and singers and personalities around my age (56) look younger than me. I went on the internet because I wanted to find a picture of a real 55-year-old. It wasn’t until you get to Betty White that you get to be cool again. But between JLo and Betty White is me. We’re falling into the hole of being invisible between those two women. And I’m not okay with that.”
In her article, Ageist reactions to the Sex and the City trailer Rebecca Reid agrees with Porizkova.
The erasure of middle-aged women is a very real and very miserable fact. In TV and film, actresses have to stay looking as young as possible for as long as possible, and then wait it out until they’re old enough to go grey and play a Grande Dame. In that interim period between the two, it’s time to 'spend more time with the family or 'explore directing'. In other words, hide your face until it’s the right kind of aged. Read Article Here!
Personally, I find it hard to identify with the conversation around women and invisibility, because as a woman of colour, I am accustomed to being marginalised. Flying under the radar of the white male gaze I consider to be my superpower, and most black men hold beauty standards that are not focused on age.
Living at the intersection of sexism, racism, and ageism, in my experience ageism has proved to be the gentler of the 3 discriminators.
Many women I approached to speak at the event, declined because they feared that being associated with a movement the championed women and ageing would be a career killer!
In this issue, you will meet three women who have successfully navigated the transition of ageing and were not afraid to be visible.
I would also love to share with you this evocative poem by Donna Ashworth, reminding us that as women we should be able to age however we like!
AGE HOWEVER YOU LIKE by Donna Ashworth
I mean, you do you.
If you want to pull and tweak and tighten and brighten.
Go for it.
Why not? Is it making you happy? Good, life is short.
Take the happiness wherever it appears.
But…If that doesn’t make you happy and you seek another way.
You could just age my friend.
Find a role model, be inspired, and let it all go - the way it wants to.
Assuming that if you are on this pathway, you realise, looking after yourself is pretty vital for a great life.
But as for the aesthetics?
Ageing looks good on anyone who believes that it does.
It’s an inner light kind of deal.
It shines through skin, bone, muscle, and sinew - bathing everything you see in a luminous glow of peace, acceptance, and utter loveliness.
It’s some sort of chemical reaction when self-love (at last) meets Mother Nature.
Then wisdom and hindsight all join together too and cast their magic until what you see is a woman who has evolved, grown, learned, and risen many many times.
And it’s a beautiful sight to behold.
So, age however you like because if something is not making you happy, that will show. And you owe nothing, NOTHING, to the eyes who judge.
Time can’t erase your beauty, my friend, only negativity can do that.