Relationship and social connection: well worth the effort

by Anne Ring

When the US Centre for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) emphasises the value of social connections and the relationships within them, to our health and wellbeing, then it’s definitely worth paying attention to what they can offer.

Briefly, it says that not only does staying connected to others in positive relationships “create feelings of belonging and being loved and cared for and valued” (all great stuff in their own right, of course), but all of that can also help people to:

- live longer and healthier lives by reducing the risk of chronic disease and serious illnesses; and

- improve our wellbeing through:

  - our ability to manage stress, anxiety and depression;

  - healthy eating habits and physical activity; and

  - quality of sleep.

So, how does one go about making such beneficial social connections? Swinburne Universtiy’s Social Innovationn Research Institute has produced a handy overview of that, in its Social Connections 101 course 

(https://figshare.swinburne.edu.au/articles/report/Social_Connection_101_Revised_edition_/28415261?file=53090573). While that is targeting community connectors, it has a lot of useful information for those who want to be connected.

And a key note of advice is to join a group or activity because what it does is of interest to you, and not just because you might feel that just any group will do, to assuage feelings of loneliness. I did the former when I first moved to Brisbane, and knew no one except my small family, and felt very isolated and lonely. So, I decided to extend my knowledge in an area that I’d worked in, and enrolled in a graduate diploma of health education. I found it engrossing and - equally importantly - gradually formed several friendships with other students, which launched me onto a happier path in my new home.

And I certainly went through the stages outlined in the 101 course, of how socialisation can take place when joining a group:

- Phase 1: finding a group and joining it, which can be a period of uncertainty and discomfort about feeling new and a stranger

- Phase 2: getting to know the group, and the time of deciding if you are a good fit

- Phase 3: becoming part of the group, coming to feel that you belong, feeling comfortable and being more actively involved

Interestingly, right now I’m again having a Phase 1 experience, with a new film discussion group that I’ve just joined, as I love movies.

And Londoner Molly Gorman has written an interesting article, titled “I tested some of the most popular ways of meeting new people. Here’s what I found” 

(https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20250403-the-best-activities-for-finding-friends). Her conclusion - having joined a team sport, beginner bouldering, a book club’s creative writing session, and a life drawing group - was that all the ones that she’d tried were a success. “Each”, she wrote, “ formed a gateway to a community and new friends, while offering other benefits I hadn’t even thought about when starting the mission”. And she definitely felt that “it’s worth trying a new activity where you might meet people with similar interests to you”. And her ice-breaking opening line? “Have you ever done this before?”

And, on a final note, she has also found, and reported in another article, “Why later life can be a golden age for friendship”https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20241212-why-later-life-can-be-a-golden-age-for-friendship. And her research-backed observation is well worth noting: “Self-perceptions of ageing can work as self-fulfilling prophecies, such that older people who believe late life is negatively associated with  declining and the risk of being lonely are less likely to invest in relationships. In contrast, older people who see their age in a more positive light and believe that it is still possible to make new plans and to engage in new activities will invest more. And these investments in social relationships have positive consequences for wellbeing”.

Anne Ring copyright2025