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Starting over as a Mum


  • 2016 - Annalise's School Debutante Ball 

 


I always wanted to be a young mum. I was raised by my grandmother, and I can remember being a little girl, watching my friend's young mums play on the playground equipment with their kids, while my ‘mum’ sat sedately on the park bench with her knitting.

 

I married my first husband two weeks shy of my 18th birthday and had my son Adam when I was 19. Eleven months later, Alanna was born. (timing was obviously never my strong point). So at 20, I had two small children and a husband in the Air Force, which meant we moved every couple of years and I had no family support close by.

 

Everyone used to comment that I was too young, but I loved being a mum. It was not always easy having ‘almost twins’, with no respite, but I loved it. I had some difficulty giving birth to Adam and Alanna and the doctors informed me that I would never be able to have any more children as there was too much damage. But that was okay with me, I had my ‘pigeon pair’, and they were all I needed.

 

Fast forward 15 years. I had some unusual results from a pap smear and had to have surgery. The surgery went well, but afterwards, I kept feeling sick, so I went back to the doctor, who suggested that it was probably just a reaction to the anaesthetic, and it would go away.

 

Two weeks later, I went back again and this time he thought I may have picked up an infection, so prescribed some antibiotics. On the third visit, he suggested we do some tests, and it was confirmed I was four months pregnant.

 

When I told my ex-husband, he informed me that I couldn’t possibly be pregnant, because at 35, I was too old (always the charmer lol). I was shocked by people’s responses when I told them I was having a baby – I was expecting congratulations like any other expectant mum, but instead, the doctor asked why I was keeping the baby and the majority of other people commented how my other kids were almost grown up – why would I want to start again?

 

Annalise is the best gift I have ever been given. She was a surprise to all, true, but never a mistake. She was an easy, thoughtful, intelligent and funny child, and as an older mum, I found the patience and time to spend with her that I didn’t have when the other two were small. I was much more relaxed – I figured that the other two survived me as a mum, she would too.

 

Annalise is now in her final year of a Medical Science degree and plans to go to Medical School next. Imagine if I had listened to people, and not given her this chance at life! In my opinion, you are never too old, too young or too anything to be a mum. When the time is right for you, the time is right. Adam and Alanna helped me grow up and become the person I am now. Annalise has given me a purpose, kept me active and interested in life, and I give thanks for them all every day.  

 

Jody Webster

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