One of my main motivations to create Silver Sirens was the isolation and taboo women experience around menopause. Much like ageing, as women, if we are lucky menopause will be a natural passage of our lives. As puberty marks the beginning of our fertility and our childbearing years, menopause signifies the ending of that cycle. Yet many women are unaware of what to expect of this phase.
In this edition I will be sharing information from Thea O'Connor who is a speaker at this year's event, in the segment of Ageing in the Workplace. Thea is an expert in menopause in the workplace.
Just over a year ago, Thea interviewed Australian working women about their experience of menopause. These were some of their responses:
“I feel ripped off that no one talked to me about it.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me? This is a change of life I was not prepared for at all.”
“Before I had my period at 13, I was told some stuff, but no one sat me down to have the ‘time of life’ conversation”.
In her own words...
"In 2018 I noticed my short-term memory and concentration were faltering and I had no idea that this ‘brain fog’ could be a symptom of peri-menopause - the years leading up to the final cessation of periods.
I hadn’t heard a thing, not a squeak – not from my mother, not from three older sisters, not from my older female friends, and certainly not from other professional women.
"Sssh, don’t talk about it", seemed to be the default position, especially amongst many working women who feared being perceived as not up to their jobs if they did talk about the M-word.
The high cost of this silence is that too many women don’t know what to expect during the menopause transition and therefore don’t know how best to support themselves. Knowledge is power.
Be aware that menopause can start younger than you think. The average age of menopause, (defined retrospectively as when a woman has not had a menstrual period for 12 months) is 51. The range, however, is from 45 years to 55 years and it’s actually during peri-menopause, the years leading up to menopause when symptoms can be the most difficult.
Peri-menopause - lasts about four to eight years. Some women could therefore start experiencing symptoms in their late thirties. Educate yourself about the early signs of menopause.
Don’t blame menopause for all your woes. Sure, the increased exhaustion and irritability many women feel during midlife could be an early sign of menopause. But it’s just as likely to be due to saying ‘yes’ one too many times.
Weight gain - Research tells us it’s due to metabolism slowing down with age, rather than hormones. Prioritise your health and wellbeing now. Healthy living can help reduce the negative symptoms of menopause. For example, alcohol, caffeine, stress, and smoking are common triggers for hot flushes, and cutting down on these will help.
Do the emotional work - Address any backlog of unresolved issues now. Menopause offers women a great opportunity to re-assess their lives and ask – 'what needs to change?' It’s not called 'The Change' for nothing! I truly believe that some of the menopausal symptoms, such as outbursts of anger, are in part fuelled by women putting up with stuff for way too long.
If ‘stuff’ is building up in your life, start addressing it sooner rather than later. Otherwise, as one interviewee said, “if you don’t do the [inner] work, menopause will bring you to your knees".
Find a good GP - Many women complain about a long time (sometimes years) it took them to find a good practitioner to support them. If you don’t already have one, ask around for help to find a great doctor who specialises in women’s health who can support you now, and who is also well-educated about menopause. Note: GPs do not receive specific education about menopause in their training – they need to do their own education about it.
Don’t freak out - about the negative stuff. Bad news travels further and faster than good news which is no doubt why so many articles about menopause in the media focus on how menopause is ruining women’s careers, marriages, and youthful bodies.
Remember - that while about 20 percent of women do have severe, long-lasting symptoms, another 20 percent don’t have any symptoms at all, and the remaining 60 percent experience mild to moderate symptoms.
Try looking forward to it! - Did you know that the upsides of transitioning into your ‘third act’ can include an increased sense of liberation, steadiness, and authority?
Given that woman who have more positive attitudes towards ageing and menopause experience fewer severe symptoms, it makes sense to examine your beliefs and create a supportive mindset for yourself.
When I asked women what would make a positive difference to them, almost every single woman said - the number one need is to Normalise Menopause (even though it is already normal!) and talk about it. Women also wanted menopause to be reframed as a rite of passage that is the gateway into eldership.
The above by Thea O'Connor.
As a post-menopausal woman, I feel blessed that my own experience was relatively easy and pain-free. Nevertheless, I would have benefited greatly from some of the knowledge above.
For more information about menopause and the options for managing its negative effect, check out the complete newsletter.