“Loneliness, at its root, is a spiritual issue. We don't need to merely hang out with more friends. We need more than to merely learn how to speak love languages."
T. Reinke
I agree with the above quote that loneliness is at its core, a spiritual malaise. A soul sickness of sorts.
We are social beings, and we crave union with other humans. I believe that on a deeper level, this craving to be with others mirrors our deep need for union with God, the divine, the universe, or all that is. I believe this impulse goes far beyond any religious affiliation.
I am one of those people who enjoy being alone, but I recall 3 months last year that I was overcome by loneliness.
My life was still busy with clients and my work with Silver Sirens, yet I felt that hole in the soul that comes from being disconnected.
My partner and I had been trying to work out how to move in together. He is an Artist and lived in the Blue Mountains with space for a sprawling art studio which allowed him a lot of space and freedom to do his work.
We were not in the financial situation to replicate this lifestyle in Sydney so kept pushing back our dream of living together.
For nearly eight years our relationship revolved around weekend visits, short holidays away, and longer stints together over Christmas holidays or trips overseas.
According to Attachment Theory, I am an avoidant relationship type, so the situation suited me for the most part. Until it didn't. I stopped enjoying all the aspects of living alone that I relished, and I started to dread another day waking up alone and going to bed without him by my side. I would feel a big ache in my heart as I wondered how we were going to resolve our living arrangement. This soul sickness permeated every aspect of my emotional life.
I have a daily spiritual practice of meditation, writing a gratitude list and intentionally connecting with Source, the Universe, or Higher Power which got me through that period of loneliness.
I am pleased to say that we've now resolved this issue and have been living together since the 1st of February!
There are many practical ways to address loneliness, such as connecting with others, seeking professional help, and engaging in activities that bring joy. Some people also find and need spiritual solutions.
I don't believe that you have to be religious or spiritual in the traditional sense to benefit from the list below. Some of my clients who identify as atheists or agnostics have found them useful by substituting the concept of God or a Higher Power with Nature, an Ancestor, or their pet.
I consider myself a spiritual magpie, taking what works for me from various traditions.
Here are some spiritual solutions to loneliness:
Prayer and Meditation
Spending time in prayer and meditation can provide a sense of connection to a higher power and inner peace. It can also help you feel less alone and more connected to something greater than yourself.
Connecting with a Higher Power
Many people find comfort and solace in connecting with a higher power, whether through prayer, meditation, or other spiritual practices. This can provide a sense of support and guidance during times of loneliness.
Community and Fellowship
Engaging with a spiritual community or fellowship can help alleviate feelings of loneliness. Being part of a group of like-minded individuals can provide a sense of belonging and support.
Service and Volunteer Work
Engaging in acts of service and volunteer work can help shift the focus from your feelings of loneliness to the needs of others. This can bring a sense of purpose and fulfillment, as well as opportunities to connect with others.
Mindfulness and Presence
Practicing mindfulness and being present at the moment can help you cultivate a sense of connection to yourself and the world around you. This can reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Gratitude Practice
Cultivating a practice of gratitude can help shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. Being grateful for the small blessings in your life can help you feel more connected and less lonely.
Seeking Guidance from Spiritual Leaders
If you belong to a religious or spiritual tradition, seeking guidance from spiritual leaders or mentors can provide comfort and support during times of loneliness.
Like me, everyone is likely to experience loneliness at some point in their lives, and it's important not to judge yourself but instead to be kind and gentle with yourself understanding that the need for union is part of our human psyche.